I'm not ready to make nice

One year ago this Sunday, I married my husband.
I will not be with my husband on our first wedding anniversary because he is serving in the Air Force on a remote assignment.
But, it’s all okay. He sent me a bouquet of flowers (which are bigger than our daughter), balloons, candy and a teddy bear.
His amazing gift giving abilities are just one of the things I love about him.
He has a great sense of humor, and he taught me to play poker and throw darts. He is also a somewhat patient shopper. And I love all those things as well.
The first time we met, my two-year-old Jeep wouldn’t start. He helped me. Then we saw a movie and ate Mexican food.
It was fun and it has been fun ever since.
We got married in Las Vegas (Nevada not New Mexico) in a small, stained glass chapel.
There was a weird cat statue in the corner, two prostitutes across the street when we walked out and the limo driver talked constantly.
But, it was fun.
Now, we have a daughter who looks just like her daddy.
And we’re having fun with her too.

I recently wrote a column for the Cannon Connections. In the column I talked about a comment made by Dr. Laura about how military wives shouldn’t whine.
And I agreed.
Since the column ran, my inbox has been crammed full of comments.
Some wives applauded me. Others said I should be ashamed.
I even got an email from a Chief Master Sgt. who said I didn’t know what I was talking about.
While I enjoy the dialogue the column has opened, I do feel that I should explain my opinion a little more.
First, my husband is not deploying to Iraq or any other war zone. But, he will still be gone for over four months thousands of miles away.
Second, it was a column not an article, therefore it is just my personal opinion.
Third, if whining helps other wives then I say go for it. But for me it is not an option because it stresses me, my husband and my children out.
So, I stand by my beliefs and I will not whine to my husband about the unfairness of being left alone once again.

With Mother’s Day nearing, I have chosen to use this blog to honor my maternal grandmother, Blanche Magness.
She died when I was in high school and I still miss her terribly.
She was instrumental in shaping who I am today.
Just thought I would share some of my favorite things she taught me.
* She taught me that chewing gum in public looks tacky.
* She taught me to make gumbo, chocolate sheet cake and fried okra.
* She taught me that “Pretty is as pretty does.”
* She taught me to swim, crochet, and shell peas.
* She taught me that I should always try to look my best.
Blanche Magness was strong, feminine and funny.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her.

David Halberstam was killed in a car crash yesterday.
I know most of you are probably wondering who David Halberstam was.
Well, he was one of my heroes.
He was a journalist, pulitzer-prize winning author (at the age of 30) and a talented speaker.
I had the opportunity to hear him speak while I was attending college in Texas. He discussed his book, “The Best and the Brightest.”
The book changed people’s view on the Vietnam War.
He was fearless and opinionated.
He died doing what he loved, reporting.
I hope they bury him with a pen and notepad because I’m sure he’s not finished reporting.

Today is sad day for me because a dear friend and co-worker will say goodbye to the Clovis News Journal tomorrow.
I have had the pleasure to work with Marlena Hartz for almost two years. She is a talented writer who has contributed more than her share of stories to our newspaper in the two years she was employed here.
Although I will miss her presence at work, I will miss her friendship more.
I thought I would share some of my favorite Marlena memories:
* She attended my baby shower. Everyone else brought department store baby clothes. Marlena brought hand-crocheted booties lovingly sewn by her mother and a copy of Runaway Rabbit, which is possibly one of the best children’s books ever. I’ll think of her every time I read it to my daughter.
* Marlena once interviewed a BRAC commissioner, known as “Fig” Newton. I will never forget Marlena asking “I wonder why they call him Fig?” We laughed for hours when I explained the whole fig newton cookie reference.
* Marlena and I spent an entire morning touring the AFSOC aircraft at Cannon Air Force Base. She was so intent on studying the aircraft that she actually wandered off as public affairs was trying to corral the media.
* We spent many mornings traipsing through snow, rain and mud knocking on doors in search of people to answer important questions like “What is your favorite Christmas ornament?”… All so a Saturday edition package could run.
I will miss you Marlena, but I feel lucky that I got the chance to share office space with you.

I was recently told by an acquaintance that I am not “the typical military wife.”
OK, sounds like a compliment at first because who really wants to be typical. But, curiousity got the most of me and I just had to ask her what a typical military wife is.
Her response was - Married, high school educated, very young (18 to 20), a stay-at-home mom raising a couple of babies, madly in love with her husband but forced to live 800 miles from her family.
Well I take offense at that description. You can’t lump all military wives into one category.
I have several friends who are military spouses. They range in age from 22 to 50. Some have children and some don’t. Most of them work because they choose too. One is a registered nurse, one is a special victim’s advocate and another is a teacher. They have lived in wonderful places like Japan and Italy.
We are all unique.